Are You Bullied ?

So you're being bullied, huh? That can feel pretty awful. But, no matter how bad it makes you feel sometimes, you should know you're not alone. That's right ... there are plenty of kids all over the world who go through the same things you do everyday. And, even though you may feel helpless sometimes, there are a lot of things you can do to help yourself out. So listen up and give these tips a try.

First thing, this has nothing to do with you, the victim. Bullying is driven by insecurities within themselves. Bullies tend to have low self esteem, and possibly could have come from a poor environmental background.

Always tell an adult.It's hard to talk about serious things with adults sometimes, but they can help put a stop to bullying. Tell your teacher, your parents, your school counselor - any adult you feel you can talk to. If you've told a grown-up before and they haven't done anything about it, try telling someone else - a teacher or school official who may have noticed the bullying. Make them listen! If you're afraid to tell an adult that you have been bullied, get someone else to go with you. Having someone else there to support you can make it a lot less scary.

Stay in a group. Kids who bully like to pick on kids who are by themselves a lot - it's easier and they're more likely to get away with their bad behavior. If you spend more time with other kids, you won't be an easy "target" and you'll have others around to help you if you get in a bad situation!

Try to stand up to the person who is bullying you. If the person who is bullying you thinks you won't do anything about it, they are more likely to keep picking on you. This doesn't mean you should fight back. Instead, tell the person bullying you that you don't like it and that they should stop! The person bullying you should know that what they are doing is wrong. If you're afraid to talk to the person who is bullying you by yourself, then try getting someone else to go with you. Kids who bully are more likely to listen, and less likely to bully you, when you're not alone. If you're not comfortable doing this, that's OK. Be sure to tell an adult.

Write down every episode of harassment including dates, times, witnesses, and anything else you can remember. This will help in the future to show it has been repeated. Show this to whomever you seek help from.

Make a joke. Sometimes it's hard to make a joke in a serious situation, but humor can help! Kids who bully tend to pick on people who are easily upset. Remember they are looking for a response. If someone is picking on you and you make a joke out of it, you'll show them you aren't easily upset. And, who knows, the person bullying you might think it's pretty funny!

Try not to think of the bully as the "bad" guy and yourself the "good" guy. We are all equal regardless of mistakes and the situation. Even if they are making you feel horrible no one is better then anyone else so always remember although you feel miserable, never bully back. Try keep in mind bullies are driven by their own insecurities. People tend to bully for a number of reasons but one is because they feel an imbalance of power. Dr. Phil calls it "leveling." The bully either has to deflate your ego to bring you down to their level or they inflate or boost their own ego to be on yours.

Remember, it is not your fault, no one deserves to be bullied.